Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

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THE FERENGI RULES OF AQUISITION

The Rules of Acquisition: Unabridged and Fully Annotated. With all 47 Commentaries, all 900 Major and Minor Judgments, all 10,000 Considered Opinions  
  1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.  
  3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. 126KB
  6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.  
  7 Keep your ears open.  
  9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.  
  10 Greed is eternal.  
  16 A deal is a deal.  
  17 A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between Ferengi.
  
  18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.  
  19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed. (Number not stated)  
  21 Never place friendship above profit.  
  22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.  
  31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.  
  33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.  
  34 War is good for business.  
  35 Peace is good for business.  
  47 Don't trust a man wearing a suit better than your own.  
  48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.  
  57 Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.  
  59 Free advice is seldom cheap.  
  62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.  
  75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.  
  76 Every once in a while, declare peace; it confuses the hell out of your enemies.  
  94 Females and finances don't mix.  
  95 Expand or die.  
  102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.  
  103 Sleep can interfere with [unfinished; profit?].  
  109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.  
  111 Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.  
  112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.  
  139 Wives serve. Brothers inherit.  
  190 Hear all, trust nothing.  
  194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.  
  203 New customers are like razor-toothed Greeworms. They can be succulent but sometimes they bite back.  
  208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.  
  211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success - don't hesitate to step on them.  
  214 Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.  
  217 You can't free a fish from water.  
  229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.  
  239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.  
  263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.  
  285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.  
REVISED RULES
    The Unwritten Rule: When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up.  
  1 If they want their money back, give it to them. (As revised by Grand Nagus Zek)  
  10 Greed is dead. (Revised by Grand Nagus Zek)  
  21 Never place profit before friendship(Revised by Grand Nagus Zek)  
  22 Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever. (Revised by Grand Nagus Zek)  
  23 Money can never replace dignity. (Revised by Grand Nagus Zek)  
  285   A good deed is its own reward. (Revised by Grand Nagus Zek)  
  286 When Morn leaves it's all over. (Invented by Quark)  
  299 Whenever you exploit someone it never hurts to thank them. That way it's easier to exploit them the next time. (invented by Neelix)